'Hey, Happy Feet, sorry to wake you up at 11am, but do you think you can come to Wan Chai and have lunch with me at 12:30pm? I need an ear... but I only have 30mins to eat...'
I was waken up by a phone call from my best friend yesterday while I was deeply engaged in a Chinese chess game with Master Chau. It must have been a difficult battle since I was still playing the game when the sun was high above the sky. While I was struggling to get out of my warm and soft bed with my mobile in one hand, I couldn't help but noticed that there was something really wrong in her tone. This girl, whom I have known since S.5, didn't lift a finger when a fire broke out, sounded like she could tear a bull barehanded into two pieces.
I was in Wanchai at about 12 and I anchored in comfortable sofa on a corner of the Pacific Coffee which is closest to her office. In order that we could have more time to chat, I ordered a NY cheesecake, a panini with blue cheese, a spinach cheese quiche and two vanilla lattes for us. (Well, you have to understand, fatty foods like cheese and chips are remedy of all sorrows, according to Happy Feet.) After waiting for like... forever(?) and finished writing comments on two of my students' journals, my best friend showed up. For a split second, I did not recognize her, cause I did not expect her to show up in all black. Not only her clothes but her face was so darkened, her dark hair was messy and her lips were clenched so tight that it reminded me of that day when the black rainstorm signal was hoisted and I was waiting for longer than a lifetime for bus 108 to come. That's the expression I had...
So, before she started talking, I picked up the cheesecake and a fork and gestured her to dig in. I looked at her between bites and saw tears rolling in her eyes. Then she let out a sigh and started telling what happened this week. My best friend is employed as a secretary to a manager. But since the first day she landed this job two years ago, she has been everyone's secretary. Even though they knew that she was that particular manager's secretary, they manipulated her generosity and kindness by asking her favors which she, at first, thought was no big deal.
Of course helping one person is no big deal, but helping EVERY SINGLE SOUL in an office which has 7 FLOORS of EMPLOYEES???? That's, out of the question. So, my friend, like everyone of us here who only has 24 hours a day, has been trying to stretch her 24 hours into 48 if not 72... And apart from being that person's secretary, now, she is also unofficially the big boss's secretary who, on the first working day after the CNY, had to go to Toys "R" US to buy toys for a new born baby whom she didn't even know the gender of. And on that day, while she was supposed to have 1-hour lunch and like most secretary, should be able to get off work at 5pm sharp, had to go on a site visit in the New Territories after office hours.
She was upset, terribly upset. Not because she had a lot of things to do, but the fact that she thought she was incapable. She is the kind of person who does her best to complete tasks so meticulously and flawlessly that she prides herself on. Knowing that the problem was not her but the insurmountable work and extra requests from her colleagues and bossesssss, I sort of raised my voice and asked her to stop belittling herself and think of ways to prioritize the tasks or combine them or simply shake some of them off. She then just sat there and chewed on the lid of her coffee cup.
I knew that she was not looking for advice from me but simply somebody to hear her rant. But sometimes it's really enraging to witness your friend's weakness and that people are manipulating her. So, I told her perhaps, being a secretary was not a job for her. Perhaps, she could make use of her Degree in Teaching with her meticulousness and detail-mindedness as well as her efficiency to get a job in the field of Customer Services or Counselling? It's no use building others' dreams while forgetting your own, right?
But same as my little sister, she lacks confidence and doubts herself. She is afraid that she might have to idle for 3 months like last time when she changed job. She didn't want to be in that whirlpool of uncertainty, hopelessness and timelessness... again...
So, instead of saying anything more, I just gave her a pat on the shoulder along with a hug and told her that if she ever went back into that rabbit hole again, she could come to my little safe haven and live there for as long as she waned. My door is always open for her.
Sometimes, I just wonder what kind of life we Hongkongers are leading. Is it a life? Or is it just living? Why do we not just leave a job or a place which doesn't value our effort or our achievements appropriately? I remember one person told me that I should learn not to do anything new. Since if it goes well, I would be given more work; but if it doesn't go well, I would be in big trouble. And we should adopt that humility approach of saying that we cannot do something or we are just not that good in order to avoid extra responsibilities. And, when it comes to appraisal or time for salary raise, our bosses who keep on giving us new responsibilities, belittle us and tell us we are not that good.
So... why more work when we are not that good? Are we really not that good? Or, we are just not good at playing Chinese chess games with our beloved bosses?
Hugs
Eye-rolling Happy Feet/Dumpling
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